Stefano
Stefano
Occupation?
Freelance Architect.
What was your diagnosis and how old were you at the time?
Non Hodgkins follicular Lymphoma, Stage III a, 26.
What kind of treatment did you have?
Chemotherapy and (autologous) Bone Marrow Transplant.
What did you do right after you were diagnosed? How did you deal with it all?
The first reaction was to FIGHT and PREVAIL above everything. This attitude of conquest lasted till the first chemo. Subsequently I became depressed, heavily depressed. I had to be on pharmacological support and was assisted by a psychologist.
How did your family and friends react to your diagnosis? Did it have any positive or negative effects on you?
Most of my friends disappeared, only some of them lasted, but they were the true ones. My mother and my girlfriend (now my wife) switched their role during therapy:- first phase: mother present and helpful; girlfriend crazed and hysterical;- second phase: girlfriend present and helpful; mother crazed and hysterical.My father was completely absent, as usual.
Besides the difficulties at the beginning of the therapy, the most important person has been Jaja (girlfriend/wife) and without her I think I would not have made it.
What would you tell someone who has just been diagnosed? Any advice?
I cannot give practical advice to people with different a diagnosis; I'm not a doctor or a psychologist. But I think I could be of some help for people with the same diagnosis. I do something like that on Planet Cancer. And I can also be of some help to other people, but in a different way. I like to make other people smile even if I cannot comprehend at all what they are going through.
Do you have any advice for family and friends of people just diagnosed? Things that you found helpful and not as helpful?
I've had MANY pieces of advice from friends and relatives, but none of them worked well for me. I've to find the right answers to my problems by myself. Cancer is an extreme experience and only experienced people can give the right advice.
What is it like to have cancer in Italy? And what is the healthcare like there?
Having cancer in Italy is different from having cancer in other western countries, but this is not because the healthcare. The therapy is almost the same you can get in the US or UK or France, and it's free for everyone because of public healthcare. The difference is in the way this sickness is approached by other people. Catholicism has a deep influence over this. By the catholic point of view, cancer is somewhat related with sin. If you have cancer it's better if other people don’t know. Strange isn't it? This is why there are no support groups at all; cancer is something you have to be ashamed of. For example, my mother in law hid my health problems to friends and relatives in Aosta, where she lives and where my wife is from. Oh! And don't forget that having cancer in Italy means you are surely going to die: I've had an unrequested extreme unction while in hospital, during chemo, by an elderly ugly priest.
PUBLIC Healthcare in Italy works on 2 different levels:
- basic level, for minor injuries and not life threatening problems: it usually doesn't work well enough (slow service, lack of attention etc).
- advanced level, for life threatening problems: this works really well.
Sadly the nation is divided into 2 different parts. What I've said above is true in the north of the country. The situation in the south isn't the same, and it's worse, really worse. This depends on different factors, it mostly depends on, 'Ndrangheta, Sacra Corona Unita, Cosa Nostra or other forms of Mafia. The reality is that the Italian government doesn't control certain sections of our national territory. The resources for public healthcare in the south are often stolen by mafia and corrupted politicians. But I don't want to transform this interview in a political meeting.
How do you like to get your mind off of things (Any hobbies, favourite show, movies or music)?
I like sports. Practicing sports makes me feel in good health and this is good for my hypochondriac and corrupted mind. I play roller hockey and swim. Once upon a time I was a mountaineer, before a GREAT tendonitis stroke.
What is your dream motorcycle?
BMW R1200GS.
Have young adult cancer organizations played a role in your cancer experience?
No. There isn't anything like that in Italy. This is why I'm on PC (Planet Cancer) and I have to write in English (aaaaarrrg).
How have you changed since your diagnosis?
I'm more aggressive. And I'm a little less scared by the future.
What have been the “best” and worst of your cancer experience so far?
Best: Walking alone in the street for the first time at the end of my therapy. Worst: Venous catheter stuck because of a blood clot. Life threatening situation. Long hospitalization. Surgery.